Life is unpredictable. Life is full of ups & downs. Sometimes life sucks so badly you wanna put an end to it but you can't. Life goes on no matter what happens.
I have no idea why i'm saying all this but i just had this feeling. An urge to spit it out. I feel like crying. I am crying. I wanna stop feeling hurt & stop crying.
I never used to be like this. I'm always a cheerful person with no worries. A person full of laughter & bringing joy to people's life.
As i grew older, things become more complicated. You think of things that you never once think of it. I hate growing up if all of this is part & parcel of adult life.
Why is everyone around me facing so much stress & problems? Why can't everyone just take things easy? Why make your problem another person's problem?
I hate my life. I hate the environment i'm living in. I hate the environment i grew up in. I hate all the problems in my life. I want them to all go away!
Leave me alone!!! Arghhhh!!!
Why is my life so miserable? I have to worry abt my parent's relationship problem. I have to worry abt my problem. I have to worry abt my marriage.
I just wanna have a peace of mind & live life happily but things keep coming my way in my everyday life stopping me from getting happiness. Is that how my life is meant to be?
I don't wanna feel so troubled. I don't wanna feel stress. I don't wanna get depression. I don't wanna break down. I don't wanna feel so sad & heart broken everyday.
People my age are all enjoying their life at this moment. Why do i have to suffer like this? I know there are people out there who are suffering more than i do.
But does that mean i have to be like them? When will i ever get the happiness that i truly deserve? I have no idea. I can only see darkness in my life.
I used to think that i will be happy after getting married because deardear will always be there for me. I thought happiness is finally coming my way like he promised.
I was so wrong. In the end, i'm left with nothing but an unhappy marriage & bundles of never ending problems that only seem to increase & never decrease.
Please... Can somebody out there please save me? Tell me what should i do? I know ending my life is not an option & have never thought of it.
I'm just a simple girl who looks forward to a simple & happy life with somebody to love & care for me.
Just a very normal single mom crapping about her daily life with 2 loves of her life. I'm blessed. =)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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Officially engaged!
He finally popped the question and I said YES! From now he will be known as SMF instead of SMBF! =)

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